Glenn Millers death plane, Robert Dursts cannibal appetites, and exploding heads in this weeks dubious tabloids

There are trace elements of facts in many of this weeks tabloids stories, but that hasnt stopped the rags alchemists from spinning gold out of these barely-detectable sub-atomic particles.

George Clooney and wife Amal have purchased an estate on the Italian isle of Sardinia, but because shes there with their twins and George is away, the National Enquirer cover story proclaims: Clooney Divorce Explodes Amal Moves Out! She has reportedly fled their marital home in England and furious George has begged Amal to come back." Except Clooney isnt in England. He has been working in Los Angeles, as the most cursory investigation would have told the Enquirer. But if Amal is in Sardinia and George isnt there, they must be getting divorced. Right?

"Glenn Miller Death Plane Found! reports the Globe. Well, not exactly. The unidentified wreckage of a WWII-era plane was found off the south coast of England. So the Globe figures this must be the big band leaders plane, because no other planes went down in the sea during WWII, did they?

Duchess of Cambridge Kate Middleton is the target of terrorists as ISIS Plants Poison in Kates Grocery Store, claims the Globe. Or at least, a post on an extremist website suggested that someone should poison her groceries, which means its as good as happened.

Jennifer Aniston is adopting a baby girl from a Mexican orphanage, the Globe reports under the happy headline: Jen Anistons Mom At Last!" Apparently she has made a donation to a Mexican orphanage, so it stands to reason she must be taking one of the kids home. Read the rest