Noahs Ark found, a Palace coup, and a Hollywood poker scam, in this weeks dubious tabloids

The British press treat their Royal Family like a soap opera, complete with catfighting sisters-in-law, feuding brothers separating their lives, and an impatient heir to the throne, so its hard to fault the American tabloids for running with the soap opera theme and doing it better.

William Seizes Throne from murderer Charles! screams the Globe cover. No, the Queen hasnt died, and Prince William hasnt launched a Palace coup to kill his father (Charles is branded a murderer by the tabloids for allegedly masterminding the death of Princess Diana.) William reportedly presented the Queen with "a damning new dossier of evidence proving that Charles had ordered Diana killed. Considering all the trouble Diana was causing for the Royal Family after her split from Charles, youd imagine the Queen might have welcomed such initiative on the part of her son. But no. The Globe claims that Her Majesty, believing the first piece of paper set in front of her, ordered Charles cut out of succession to the throne.

Theres only one teeny tiny problem with this soap opera script: The Queen doesnt get to choose her successor. This isnt Saudi Arabia, and Prince William isnt MBS. The Queen is obliged to adhere to The 1701 Act of Settlement, which requires by law that the monarchs successor must be their immediate heir and a Protestant, to boot. As long as hes alive, that successor will be Charles. Sorry to let the facts get in the way of a good fantasy, but full marks to the Globe for imagination. Read the rest