Key to surviving movie gunfight is to not be in a movie

In Would You Survive a Movie Gunfight?, Shea Serrano offers a thorough look at the form and function of movie gunfights and what it takes to get through one alive.

The Best Times to Movie-Shoot Someone
• When its a revenge thing.
• When youre a law-enforcement officer and theyre a bad guy.
• When youre a bad guy and theyre a law-enforcement officer.
• When its the Wild West and someone is riding toward you on horseback. (This one is great because they always roll off the back of the horse, or, if youre lucky, they get their foot trapped in one of the stirrups and then the horse drags em a good ways.)
• When theyre standing on top of a building and you shoot them and they fall off very dramatically. (They have to crash through an awning.)

I have so many problems with Serrano's top list of movie gunfights, but I'm busy finishing up a nice piece about the shortcomings of Smurfs 3: The Lost Village as revolutionary praxis.