I lost my job, I am depressed.

On June 30 I lost my job. I couldnt understand what happened.

As you know, I loved my job and I really enjoyed being part of the startup. I joined in 2020. I worked there for 2 years. I spent a lot of time working there, and I learned so much. Well, my status passed to unemployed. In the beginning I felt fine because I was exhausted. I had burnout. In the last months, my body was very tired.

I overslept for months, I didnt go out, I didnt talk with my parents and friends.
I was sad, and I felt humiliated because I didnt know how to explain to my family that I lost my job. It was a failure for myself. But, one day, I decided to call my mom and tell her the situation. My family supported me, but they didnt understand what happened, and they asked me What are you doing now? I was like, I have no idea.

Then, I started looking for a new job. It was hard for me. I hadnt done interviews in the past two years. With help from some friends, I started with my CV and I made a basic portfolio. Special thanks to Caro La Reclu IT because she was the first person to help me in this process.

Well, I began with interviews and I noticed my abilities and knowledge were not enough for the market. I improved myself and the way I took the interviews. I applied to many companies.I had the first and second interviews, but I didnt continue in the process. That made me feel inadequate.

One day I saw this screenshot. I made it when I was practicing an English interview. At this moment I saw myself sad, tired, frustrated and depressed. I accept that I was depressed because I lost my job. It was a huge part of my day. I couldnt see my team. I missed my daily routine.

Sometimes for me, it is impossible to wake up. In the last few months, my psychiatric treatment has changed every month, because I need energy to do my activities. My chairs have tons of clothes because I dont have energy to organize. Im trying to go out with friends and family. Im trying to cook, not always healthy, but I eat something. Im trying to play with my pet. She makes me happy.

Not only that, but Im trying to forget that I lost my job, and I am worthwhile as a person. My heart is still broken. I am not sure when I will feel better. I do what I can to feel good and be happy.

Finally, I learned some key points. Its ok if I:

• Feel sad because I lost my job.
• Do nothing because I dont have energy.
• Dont clean my apartment.
• Cry during the day.
• Feel lost.

I continue with therapy and my psychiatric treatment. I can do more activities than in the past months. I went to Mexico City on vacation. This helped me to feel better. Ive started smiling once again.

If you read the whole thing, thank you for your time. I am working to be my best.
Thank you, Technolatinas, friends and mentors that help me in this difficult moment.