Stressed, not excited?

Hey there, in my first post I wanted to share a mental health issue I got in my life which I didn't fix by now... maybe I'm not alone with it :)

How I went there

Some years ago I had an internship at a very nice software company. They wanted to remake their webapp a modern design and replace the Angular 2 implementation with Angular 7. So I made also like three pages or so. It was a pretty straightforward task: I got screendesigns, access to their old system and its code.
I worked pretty hard on my task so I actually got a little pocket money (which wasn't usual for them).

So, because I worked so hard, my stress level always got very high when I arrived home (I was 17). This could have helped in developing my issue.

So while I had the internship, I didn't like the idea that one needs to draw a screendesign, export it and then a programmer needs to depict it.
There should be something that puts both processes together.

Then I actually started a project that should handle the problems I faced.
(By this time, there are some softwares like web flow or retool that can already do that).
You can imagine that this is a huge project you can't handle alone. But I don't bother to start big projects that I discontinue after a week.

I liked the idea way too much...

I dreamed of starting a company someday that makes money with modern software solutions that are just drag'n'dropped together in a week or so, but still with high quality.
At the end I worked on it like three years, often freezed, but my head continued working on it (thinking about it got me symptoms I describe below).

My current issue

Before that story happened, I was really excited about every new technology and learned them, and was very happy and stuff. I guess we all know this feeling :)

After the story above, I got a little paranoia.
That someone else could come up with my ideas or simply solve my problem in another way (Sidenote: now there are already companies that offer that indeed and they are getting popular).

Now when I'm excited my stress level increases and I can breath more difficult, my stomach contracts.
That is when I learn something new, when I'm thinking about programming and even while I'm writing this post...

Fortunately I let my utopia dream go, with a very little hope to reach get it reality.
It's getting better, but still isn't good...

This article was my very first on the internet :)
Hope you liked it!
Feel free to share all your thoughts on this :D