Theres nothing good on TV

In Dragon Ball Z, the popular anime series of the late ‘80s / early ‘90s, they have this thing called — hand to God — the Hyperbolic Time Chamber. Go into the Hyperbolic Time Chamber and you’ll experience a whole year’s time in a single day. On the show, friendly but aggressively jacked warriors essentially used it to cram for exams, squeezing in a few years’ worth of training into a weekend. That used to be a sweet idea to me: if I had one of those, I would hop in, not to get shredded but to watch TV. Four months into pandemic-induced isolation, that’s not as appealing anymore. I finally have all this time to watch TV, and I never know how to spend it.

This is patently absurd. There has never been more TV to watch. At any given time,...

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