Someone has finally broken the Guinness World Record for long-distance throwing of a hot dog sausage in a bun

It's kind of remarkable that the Guinness Book of Records has managed to secure such a prominent place in our culture, considering it was literally invented to encourage people to argue over inane shit at the pub (particularly when drinking Guinness).

But here I am, in the Year of Our Lord Blade Runner, tearfully cheering on Amber VanHemel as she finally achieves her year-long dream of breaking the World Record for throwing a hot dog sausage over the longest distance while still nestled snugly in its bun.

Hot dog! Another world record SHATTERED at #MIT! Phoebe Li & Amber VanHemel broke the world record for "longest throw & catch of a hot dog/sausage into a bun." Previous record = 32.106 meters. Phoebe and Amber threw for 36.9 meters! #thisismit #guinnessrecord #worldrecord pic.twitter.com/LbCoBcupTj

— MIT CEE (@MIT_CEE) November 25, 2019

I'm not sure why Guinness felt the need to specify hot dogsausage, though perhaps it's to differentiate from a hot dogsandwich, the existence of which continues to reign as the greatest controversy of the modern era. Guinness has tracked plenty of other hot dog-related records without this same linguistic clarificationin fact, this particular feat of Olympian athleticism is theonly Guinness record accompanied by that sausage qualifier.Along with this specificity, Guinness also included a size requirementthe hot dog sausage must measure between 5.5 and 7 inches in length, and be fully cooked when thrown.

According to the Boston Globe, VanHemel is currently a graduate student in the Department of Civil and Environmental Engineering at MIT, where also pitched softball as an undergrad. Read the rest