Get super horny for Apple's official ASMR videos

It was only a matter of time.

The company that delights in fetishizing physical objects just got a whole lot more, well, intimate. That's right, on Aug. 7 Apple dropped a host of ASMR videos designed to excite and titillate the internet's senses, and the entire thing is as baffling as you'd imagine. 

Described as "Apple ASMR: Season 1" — confoundingly suggesting a second season may be in the works — the four videos invite the Apple devotee to, for example, "Unwind with the whispered legend of Ghost Forest."

Because everyone's idea of relaxation is having one of the world's richest companies whisper in their ears.  Read more...