What lies lay in wait in this week's tabloids?

Youre a tabloid reporter and youre used to fabricating many of the facts and quotes in your stories, but there are some days when you cant even be bothered to do that with any conviction, days when your fevered imagination doesnt have the energy to get out of bed.

So you get what we see in this weeks tabloids.

George & Amal Clooney are "Dating Other People! reports the National Enquirer, in an Exclusive" inspired by the Clooneys announcing a charity fundraiser offering the winner a private dinner with the celebrity couple at their home in Italy.

The Enquirer amazingly interprets the Clooneys' altruism as an excuse to ignore their wedding vows, suggesting that the couple are wife-swapping swingers for charity, and that George has opened the door to other men to enjoy the company of his leggy 41-year-old wife! Expect the Clooneys to fire off an uncharitable lawsuit any minute now.

The Globe covers obligatory story about the British Royals boasts: Explosive Police Dossier Found! Charles Motive For Murdering Diana! Prince Charles allegedly had Diana killed because she was scheming to have him bypassed by the Queen so that the crown would go to son William after QE!!s death. Which makes no sense: As weve noted before, The Act of Settlement of 1701 demands that the monarchs male heir succeed to the throne no matter what anyone wants. Moreover, Diana was divorced from Charles and anathema to the Palace at the time of her demise, so theres no way the Queen would have done Dianas bidding. Read the rest