Hoover killed JFK, RFK & MLK, Brad Pitts private hell, and Mick Jaggers mental disorder, in this weeks dubious tabloids

Reality packed its bags, cancelled the mail, put its dog in a kennel and boarded a plane to take a long flight as far away as possible from this weeks tabloids.

Former FBI chief "Hoover Ordered Kennedys & MLK Murdered! screams the National Enquirer front page, promising Explosive PROOF That Will Change History. Dont rewrite the history books yet. Their proof is a memo from FBI archives in which J. Edgar Hoover wrote of his dislike for civil rights leader Martin Luther King Jr. Hardly a smoking gun, and about as new as the Gutenberg Bible. Why doesnt the Enquirer answer the really hard question: Did Hoover kill JFK, RFK and MLK because he hated acronyms?

Prince Philip, 97, DIED & Came Back to Life! in his recent car crash, proclaims the Globe cover. The Queens consort allegedly died before the accident, and the impact restarted his heart. The Globe presumably knows this because the tabloid has the Prince wired to an EKG at all times, transmitting real-time info to its reporting team, trained cardiologists every one of them. That would explain why Prince Philip was taken to the hospital and released the same day, because thats standard medical procedure for someone who just died and was brought back to life.

"Robert Wagner blocks bid to exhume Natalie! reports the Enquirer. Its hardly shocking that Hollywood veteran Wagner might not want wife Natalie Wood's remains disturbed, but he doesnt have a say in the matter Woods exhumation could be ordered by the Los Angeles County Coroner, the LAPD or the Sheriffs Department regardless of what Wagner thinks. Read the rest