All the reasons why felon Michael Grimm is the ideal GOP candidate

Former New York congressman Michael Grimm is running for re-election and his constituents couldn't be happier about it. What are the qualifications that make this law-breaking lawmaker so special in the eyes of the GOP? Here's a brief list:

• He's a convicted felon who " was indicted on 20 counts of tax evasion. He also admitted to hiring undocumented workers, hiding $900,000 from tax authorities and making false statements under oath." The judge in his trial said Grimm needed to have his moral compass readjusted and sent him to prison in 2015. He served seven months.
• He threatened to throw a reporter off a balcony in the Capitol after the reporter asked him about a federal investigation looking into campaign finance violations. I will break you in half, he told the reporter. Ill break you in half, like a boy... Let me be clear to you, you ever do that to me again Ill throw you off this fucking balcony.
• The FBI investigated allegations that Grimm "abused his authority as a FBI agent in a nightclub in 1999. Grimm denies the incident, in which he allegedly threatened people and waved a gun around. From the New Yorker article: "Grimm left the club, but at 4 a.m., just before the club closed, he returned again, according to [an off-duty N.Y.P.D. officer named Gordon Williams, who was working at the nightclub], this time with another F.B.I. agent and a group of N.Y.P.D. officers. Grimm had told the police that he had been assaulted by the estranged husband and his friends. Williams said that Grimm took command of the scene, and refused to let the remaining patrons and employees leave. 'Everybody get up against the fucking wall,' Williams recalled him saying. 'The F.B.I. is in control.' Then Grimm, who apparently wanted to find the man with whom hed had the original altercation, said something that Williams said hell never forget: 'All the white people get out of here.'"
• His oil trucking business received 11 safety violations by the U.S. Department of Transportation.

Grimm and another convicted criminal candidate, former Sheriff Joe Arpaio, both stand an excellent chance of winning in the upcoming congressional elections. Anthony Scaramucci, who served as Trump's communication director for 11 days before he was fired for calling Reince Priebus a fucking paranoid schizophrenic and for saying Steve Bannon tries to suck his "own cock," announced that he is going to raise funds for Grimm's campaign.