Volkswagen is killing the Beetle for good

Picture me, age 23. I'm shopping around for my first Adult car. While on the Volkswagen lot, surveying sensible Jettas and Passats, a round, enticing shape catches my eye: the Beetle.

Should I? Do I dare? I'm tempted. It's just so freaking cute! And fun! I run my hand along its rotund bumper, picture it in candy apple red, baby blue... yellow! Highway 1, here I come!

No. No, no, no. This car is far too frivolous. I am a Young Professional now! I need something sleeker, more New Me, not old (young) me. Look, that black Jetta is just right.