President-Elect Trump reportedly denied John Bolton a cabinet position because he didn't like his moustache

Legendary nutcase John Bolton was in the running for a high-level cabinet pick in millionaire president-elect Donald Trump's administration. Multiple sources claim that he was denied serious consideration, however, because Trump makes decisions based upon people's looks. To put it plainly: he simply cannot stand to look at Bolton's equally legendary facial hair. The cabinet hunt was described as a "casting call" in one report.

Given Trumps own background as a master brander and showman who ran beauty pageants as a sideline, it was probably inevitable that he would be looking beyond their rsums for a certain aesthetic in his supporting players.

Presentation is very important because youre representing America not only on the national stage but also the international stage, depending on the position, said Trump transition spokesman Jason Miller.

To lead the Pentagon, Trump chose a rugged combat general, whom he compares to a historic one. At the United Nations, his ambassador will be a poised and elegant Indian American with a compelling immigrant backstory. As secretary of state, Trump tapped a neophyte to international diplomacy, but one whose silvery hair and boardroom bearing project authority.

Now you know why Chris Christie doesn't have a job.