Trump elected president

The polls were wrong. That voice, angry and silent and white, it still rules after all.

None of the networks have called it yet, because they're all shell-shocked cowards. John Podesta, Hillary Clinton's campaign chief, isn't conceding. But there's no point stringing it out. At publication time, Donald Trump's won Florida, North Carolina, Ohio, and Pennsylvania. Trump's secured 264 electoral votes and Clinton is a distant blur. It's over.

His agenda: build a wall with Mexico (invoice them); overturn Obamacare and the constitutional right to gay marriage; ban Muslim travel to the U.S. until we know "what's going on"; jail Hillary; stop and frisk blacks; strip first amendment protections from the press; prevent the continued enrichment of (((global finance))); get unpredictable with nuclear weapons; and grab some pussy.

Beyond that, the next four years are anyone's guess.

The winners: Donald Trump, his supporters, nationalists, the "alt right", actual conservative voters, anti-Semites, Vladimir Putin, Hulk Hogan, contractors specializing in large walls, etc.

The losers: Hillary Clinton, most of "the media", the Democratic and Republican parties as currently constituted, women, minorities, "movement" conservatives. "The Markets."

Annihilated: The prosciutto-thin centrist consensus that anchored America's political conversation until a couple of hours ago – and all those who prospered by supplicating to it. Also: the Baltics.

All that said, marijuana was legalized for recreational use in the Republic of California, the State of Florida and the Commonwealth of Massachusetts. The people have spoken!

Thank you, for the last and greatest betrayal of the last and greatest of human dreams.

UPDATE: The AP called it.