Canadian man accused of smuggling $180k in gold in own arse

An employee of the Royal Canadian Mint stands accused of smuggling $180,000-worth of gold out of the institution in his rectum, reports Kelley Egan of the Ottawa Citizen, "evading multiple levels of detection with a time-honoured prison trick."

Appalling, was the conclusion of defence lawyer Gary Barnes, who described the Crowns case as an underwhelming collection of circumstantial evidence.

This is the Royal Canadian Mint, your Honour, and one would think they should have the highest security measures imaginable, Barnes said in his closing submission.

And here the gold is left sitting around in open buckets.

Some crimes have a smoking gun. But this one had a coating gunge.

Investigators also found a container of vaseline in his locker and the trial was presented with the prospect that a puck could be concealed in an anal cavity and not be detected by the wand. In preparation for these proceedings, in fact, a security employee actually tested the idea, Barnes said. Lawrence did not take the stand as is his legal right and the Crown was not able to definitively establish how the gold pucks made their way out of the facility.