A Jew and his sandwich

What did you think about on New Years day? I sat in my home in Washington, DC, and dreamed the dream of a middle-aged Jew.

Not of wealth.

Not of fame.

Not of my wife and daughter or other assorted family members and friends.

Not of travel to a foreign land.

And not even of my grandmothers chicken soup. As a person she was a monster, but boy she made good chicken soup.

NO! I was dreaming of a pastrami sandwich.

I was craving a pastrami sandwich.

Every store was closed here, of course, being New Years Day, but it wouldnt mattertheres no pastrami worth a damn in this town.

At that moment my body needed to be magically transported to New York City or Los Angeles, the only two places Ive ever had a really a fabulous pastrami sandwich. (Maybe theres one in Chicago, who knows?)

In New York, I go to the 2nd Ave. Deli; in LA, I go to Arts on Ventura Blvd. The 2nd Ave Deli has a long history, and plenty of tragedy (the original owner was robbed and shot to death bringing the days cash to the bank in 1996). Then the landlord got greedy and forced them out. His nephews reopened the restaurant on 33rd Street just west of Third Ave. They did a good job: tiled floor, pressed tin ceiling, A rating from the Health Department. And the aroma is what I want to smell in heaven when I die. Your tush hasnt been in the chair for five seconds before Health Salad and sour pickles are on the table.

Arts is in Los Angeles (where every sandwich is a work of Art Art being the late owner) has food of equal quality. Smells right, too. (I know that some folks prefer Jerrys, but you cant convince a Jew about his sandwich.)

You should know that brisket, corned beef, and pastrami are all the exact same cut of beef, merely prepared differently. People who eat corned beef usually do so on rye bread with mustard. Some folks like a Reuben, which is the same thing but with Swiss cheese and sauerkraut on it. They should live and be well, but I wouldnt let that thing near my mouth.

Heres what I was craving: a sandwich of beautiful moist warm pastrami, smothered in coleslaw and dripping with Russian dressing, between two pieces of fresh rye bread. And dont order lean pastrami, just dont bother. Eat something else.

Silly, isnt it? If you offered me $1,000 or a pastrami sandwich from Arts or the 2nd Ave Deli, I would take the sandwich. Youd have to add sour pickles and potato salad.

Arts Deli is located at 12224 Ventura Boulevard in Studio City, California. Click here for the website (warning: the website is lousy but the food is good). And if you dont believe me, read Trip Advisor.

The 2nd Ave Deli is located on 33rd Street between Third and Lex in Manhattan. Click here for the website. Click here to read the menu: You might want to put on a bib first. Ditto for Trip Advisor!

The 2nd Ave Delis website tantalizingly offers Ordering Online (Coming Soon). Hows that gonna work? I know! The first worthwhile use of a drone could deliver me a pastrami sandwich in about two hours. Can it be? Id order the night before and the drone flies from New York City and lands the next day at noon and heaven hits my doorstep. Yeah, I know Im dreaming. Oy, but what a dream!