The one thing a man should never say to a woman in bed

Actually, there are a lot of things men shouldnt say to women in bed. But its this innocent-sounding statement that wounds us most:

Thats never happened before.

Sooner or later, it erectile dysfunction happens to pretty much every sexually active male on the planet. For one reason or another, you just arent feeling it.

If erectile dysfunction is long-term, its time to see a doctor. But short-term erectile dysfunction (short-term ED), while potentially embarrassing, isnt serious. In fact, it is considered normal for a man to have trouble getting or maintaining an erection as much as 20 percent of the time.

Numerous factors can lead to short-term ED, including stress, anxiety, fatigue, alcohol or medications.

But still youre embarrassed. You dont want your partner to think shes chosen a lemon. So you say those four or five innocent-sounding little words: Thats never happened before.

Only heres what we hear:

Ive been able to get it up for every other woman Ive been with. Youre the first woman I havent been able to perform with.

In other words, its us, not you.

Even if it is, however, we dont need to hear it. Telling us just makes you a total dick.

So, how can you express to us whats going on in way that lets us know its not something we did, or worse, who we are?

The key is to examine the situation honestly and try to determine whats going on.

Are you tired, stressed or anxious? We understand that. You can tell us. You dont even have to be specific. Were you with us on a rebound? We wont be thrilled, but we understand that, too.

Even if you simply changed your mind before you got us home, make it about the situation, not about us personally: I saw you in the bar and you really turned me on. But now that Ive sobered up/had time to think about it, Im not really comfortable doing it like this. It feels disrespectful. (You dont have to say to whom). Lets face it -- you made a mistake. So find some deeper truth.

Because if you say nothing but those four or five words we find so awful, we will carry around the certainty that were unattractive, or we have a terrible personality, or we smell bad, or we look fat or old without our clothes. To put it bluntly, we become convinced were unfuckable.

Youll be home in a few minutes or a few hours. Your momentary embarrassment (it is momentary, right? If not, its time to see a doctor) is, to us, a statement on our worth. Well remember it. Well remember you. Your temporary embarrassment becomes memorable.

So, guys tell us about your shitty day. Tell us youd rather hang out and get to know us first. Tell us youd be thinking about your ex and feel really guilty afterwards. Tell us anything.

Just dont tell us its never happened before.