LISTEN: Overcoming our irrational and sometimes crippling fear of rejection with JiaJiang

What if you could give yourself a superpower – not Hulk-level strength, not telekinesis, but something realistic, something that added a superhuman ability by taking away a normal human limitation?

That’s what Jia Jiang wondered when he began a quest to remove the fear of rejection from his brain.

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In this episode of the You Are Not So Smart Podcast youll hear how Jiang wanted to become an entrepreneur ever since he was 14-years-old and Bill Gates visited his hometown. Two-years later, he traveled to the United States. Heeventually got a degree, got married, got a job, and at 30, right after having his first child, decided to finally take the plunge and start his own business. But four months into the adventure, a crucial investor rejected him. Jia was crushed. He became worried that his business would fail not because he needed funding, but because his fear of rejection was now magnified to stasis-inducing proportions.

To rid himself of that irrational emotion, Jiang created his own fear-elimination course – 100 days of rejection-based exposure therapy. In the episode youll hear how he reframed his outlook by actively seeking to be rejected, counting each no as a success instead of a failure and eventually learned how to pivot, to negotiate, to connect, and more than half of the time, get a yes.

Today, Jiang feels like he he earned the same superpower that people like Bill Gates enjoy naturally, and he did it by slogging through the pain and fear that keeps so many of us stuck in neutral – the fear of rejection. Hes written a book about it titled Rejection Proof.

After the interview, I discuss a new study that suggests shared laughter, even in a comedy club or movie theater, brings people closer, fosters intimacy, and can lead to disclosure.

In every episode, after I read a bit of self delusion news, I taste a cookie baked from a recipe sent in by a listener/reader. That listener/reader wins a signed copy of one of my books, and I post the recipe on the YANSS Pinterest page. This episodes winner is Carly Alter who submitted a recipe for Swedish cookies. Send your own recipes to david {at} youarenotsosmart.com.

Links and Sources

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Previous Episodes

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Jia Jiang’s Website

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