Bomb-sniffing crystals may save us from nuclear Armageddon, tea leaves agree

Worried that a nuclear attack might wipe out all of American civilization? You needn't be, because the scientific community's crystal ball says crystal balls may save humanity. Last week, the Department of Energy awarded a $900,000 grant to Fisk University and Wake Forest, where researchers have been busy exploring the counter-terrorist capabilities of strontium iodide crystals. Once laced with europium, these crystals can do a remarkably good job of picking up on and analyzing radiation, as the team from Fisk and other national laboratories recently discovered. Cost remains the most imposing barrier to deploying the materials at airports or national borders, though soothsaying scientists claim it's only a matter of time before they develop a way to produce greater crystalline quantities at an affordable price. The only thing Miss Cleo sees is a glistening press release, in your very near, post-break future.